I love that people think of me when they get heartburn. It goes something like this "oh, man I have heartburn. I feel like Ginny right now. How do you do this all the time?"
What's that Fallout Boy lyric? I don't care what you think as long as it's about me. Yes I just used a Fallout Boy lyric in a blogpost.
Have you ever had heartburn so bad that you vomit? I have. It's a blast. The pain just gets to be too much and your body is like NOPE. Get everything out! Then you go to the hospital and they put you on a morphine drip because nothing is working, but the morphine makes you nauseous and you wonder how anyone could be addicted to morphine because you feel like you're going to vomit up a years worth of food. Then they add an anti nausea medication to your IV and finally after hours in the emergency you're heartburn free. It will only cost you hundreds of dollars with insurance.
For the record my heartburn is fairly under control right now but please proceed to think of me when your esophagus is burning.
Today it's going to hit 70 degrees in Boston. I love New England weather. Being a New Englander I have many coats. You can't just have one because the temperature like to swing wildly around here.
This morning I put on my light jacket, which was still a bit too warm, but I don't have a lighter light jacket except for my raincoat, which my mother got at an estate sale so it probably belongs to some old lady that died. It's a good raincoat though, LL Bean. So I wore the light jacket that's a bit too warm and will have to carry it home later because I am not wearing that outside when it's 70 degrees.
I'm expecting to see lots of Uggs with skimpy shorts/skirts and tank tops today. It's pretty hilarious what people wear at the first hint of spring. God I hate Uggs. I know they're supposed to be comfy but they make your feet look huge. I already wear a size 9, I don't need to make my feet look any bigger.
Every time you wear Uggs with shorts a white girl's phone dies.
I'm going to a cookout later. A cookout in March in New England. I will be wearing proper attire meaning no Uggs and pants with some stretch.
When I get heartburn I take a spoonful of dissolved baking soda in a couple of ounces of water and chug it. Couple of minutes and a few belches later heartburn is gone. I expect your issue is way more serious than my occasional problem...not fun!
ReplyDeleteI'm not a fan of Uggs either. I have never understood the pairing of Uggs and shorts and why people think this is acceptable. It's like, do you want your feet to sweat or your legs to freeze? Inquiring minds are curious.
ReplyDeleteFashion is weird
DeleteMY COOKOUT ***no phones had to die to make this message
ReplyDeleteAnd what a good cookout it was!
DeleteThat bad, huh? Wow. I didn't know that heartburn could be that severe. It sounds pretty terrible. If I've ever had heartburn, it wasn't memorable.
ReplyDeleteI agree with your assessment of Uggs. On Boxing Day when I foolishly went to the mall, people were standing in line to get into the Uggs store, and I just don't get it.
It rarely gets that bad but it's awful when it does. Usually if I'm sick with the flu or a stomach bug it sets everything off. Luckily I have not had to go to the hospital in years.
DeleteYour heartburn sounds absolutely awful. If I ever feel that bad, I'll try not to think of you?
ReplyDeleteAnd thank goodness I'm not the only one who doesn't understand the appeal of Uggs, especially at those prices.
Aww well thank you ha ha.
DeleteI was wondering why I never received your posts in my reader. Turns out I'm not following you, although I was sure I was. Oops, I'll try again!
ReplyDeleteAren't Ugg boots out of fashion now? A few years back both my daughters wanted them, now they can't stand them.
Well I appreciate that you rectified this horrible error and are now following me.
DeleteI still see them around Boston but I feel like they are not as popular as they were (thank God)