I've been thinking about that Mariah Carey song "All I Want For Christmas is You" and you guys Mariah is totally lying. You best believe Mariah is expecting expensive shit for Christmas. There is no way she's satisfied with her baby underneath that mistletoe unless he's holding diamonds.
Have you seen Mariah's World on E!? It's everything I'd hoped it would be. Mariah on a plane drinking champagne, Mariah lounging in her lingerie while she talks to the camera, Mariah wanting to use endangered circus animals in her wedding. It's amazing. She really needs to get some new staff though. Her tour manager forgot to factor in the time difference between London and Luxembourg so she was late for a show. Isn't that like tour manager 101? Make sure you get there on time? I'll be your tour manager Mariah. You can pay me in champagne and diamonds and I'll remember to factor in time differences.
