Monday, February 8, 2016

It's snowing! Cancel everything! Except for your divorce.

Oh my God you guys it's snowing in New England. Can you believe it? Yea me neither. Make sure you get to the store and buy all the milk, bread and eggs because you're going to have to live off French toast for a while. I mean that's why everyone is buying out all the milk, bread and eggs right? Feel free to make me some and hook up some city rats to a sled and drop some off to my apartment.

Schools and federal buildings are closed but not our law firm. You want to start the divorce process during a blizzard? Call us up. That's a straight up emergency!

You want to know what the best part about winter is right now? I don't have a car! I don't have to shovel out a car anymore! It's the most freeing feeling in the world. While all you car owners are shoveling out your cars and saving parking spots with broken beach chairs and other garbage, I'm sitting on my couch with a glass of wine watching the Bachelor. I still think of you poor car owning saps from time to time while sipping my merlot in my slipper and robe.

I am owed a relaxing winter. Last winter was the worst. The T was dead and I was walking to work every day and if/when I have children I will tell them how I walked for miles in 4 feet of snow in Payless boots to get to work everyday and it will be the TRUTH. Not to mention my car was basically sold for scrap and I still owe money on it. I spent the winter shoveling out a car that was a rusted POS. If I had known that I would have ditched the car before all the snow.

So bring it winter. Just don't take out my power because that will totally ruin my Bachelor watching plans.

6 comments:

  1. I haven't kept up with the bachelor. Also, if you have an suv, "digging out" is as easy as putting it in drive. (Well not exactly) Teehee

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    1. That'l work unless you've been plowed in by 4 feet of snowplow packed frozen cement.

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    2. I don't know Jeeps are pretty tough. But yea if it's frozen you're in trouble.

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  2. No car, a case of less is more.

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    1. Truer words have never been spoken

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  3. Yup, I love being carless in Toronto. Traffic is a nightmare on the best days. During a snowstorm it's an absolute catastrophe. I listen to tales of my co-workers white-knuckling down the highway with little visibility or traction, and I bless my relaxing bus ride. Even if I don't get a seat, even if I have to wait a long time outside on a cold day, at least it's not my responsibility to control the vehicle under stressful conditions.

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