I am very good at inserting my foot in my mouth. Before you get excited I don’t mean that literally. I have size 9 feet and my mouth is not that big, plus gross. Sometimes I just get the urge to say something and it’s usually right near someone who would be offended by it.
The most recent example was at a restaurant having dinner and drinks. Derek said something and in the silence that followed I randomly said “mozal tov!” and raised my glass to him. It really made no sense to say it but I said it anyways.
Derek then says: oh so you looked behind you.
Me: No, why?
Derek: Because there is a table full of Jewish people behind you.
Me: Oh God really?
Oh yes there was. All the men at the table were wearing yamakas. No one heard me but what if they did and they thought I was making fun of them? I am a giant bundle of anxiety when there’s even a chance that I might have offended someone. (Unless you are an actual ass and deserve it).
I really need to think (and look) before I speak. It will probably never happen but at least that means more blog fodder for the future.