Monday, July 14, 2014

I will spice these ants to death because the internet doesn't lie

We're having an ant situation in the kitchen. Those annoying little fuckers keep stealing the cat food. They're big black ones that can cart the cat food off to wherever they're coming from. The cats of course do nothing about this.

I've been afraid to buy ant traps because of the cats so I was looking up pet friendly ant solutions. The internet suggested that I try using chalk because the ants won't cross the chalk lines. This seems ridiculous and I can't draw. Another solution suggested was cinnamon. Apparently ants don't like the smell. I decided to go with the cinnamon option. Derek asked me what I was doing, I told him to trust me I was fighting ants with spices!

It did seem to work for a day or two but yesterday I saw one heading towards the cat dish. I tried to get him with a paper towel but he crawled under the dish. I lifted the dish up and he was nowhere to be found. I'm looking all over the floor and the plate and nothing. These aren't regular ants, they are mother fucking ninjas ants!

*Seems about right.

I can't figure out where ninja ant went so I put the plate down and start to back up slowly doing one last sweep of the floor. Then I feel something on my arm. The ninja ant had gone one place I didn't think to look, on me. I quickly brushed him off and told the cats to "go get him!" I'm sure you can guess how that went over. I disposed of ninja ant myself because my cats are useless. I think it's time to get regular ant traps.

*this is an actual game you can download for your phone. I really like the ant in the background with the bomb and cool visor glasses.


  1. Dawh - Leave out vinegar, maybe? I dunno. You can get the little ant houses from the 80s, still, right? Oh - And I can do you one better. When I showed up at the drop the other night, I felt a "lump" in my hair. I had just gotten my first beer, put it down, looked at Fiona and was like "I think there's something in my hair" ...I did NOT panic, and she suggested heading to the bathroom to "fix it". Still not panicking, (I think I was frozen with fear, actually) I went to the bathroom and shook out a huge beetle, which I thankfully never got to see (only feel), and then resumed drinking to reduce shock. - Lil

  2. We only get the tiny ants (so far) Mrs. Cranky freaks out though other bugs don't bother her. My mom called them "sugar ants" and just thumbed them in mass and flicked them in the sink. Repellant outside works for us on these little guys.

    1. if the traps don't work I'm going to call the property management company to spray for sure.