"I'm really into exercise right now" - she says with a straight face

I remember when life was simple. Just hanging out on a porch with friends while your Mexican neighbor yells "stupid little crackers!" Ah the good old days. Tonight I'll be reminiscing about old times with childhood friends. We will be dining at the very classy Rainforest Cafe. I personally love when an animatronic gorilla starts making noises behind you while you're eating. I want to get the full eating in the rain forest experience minus the getting attacked by wild animals, being eaten by ants and contracting a mysterious parasite (not necessarily in that order).

I'm going to go for a nice walk today so when my friends ask me what I've been up to I can say "I'm really into exercise right now". Technically today is the present which counts as "right now" so I'm telling the truth.

I was going to go with the "I'm really rich now" route but showing up in a zipcar might blow my cover. Maybe my driver just needed the night off? I like to treat my staff well.

But seriously, this is why I will only go to unofficial high school reunions. I don't need to impress anyone, these are people I actually liked from high school. I can just shower and show up because let's be honest, I'm way too lazy to make much more of an effort than that.