"But snow is pretty" you may say from your desert home. Oh yes, snow is pretty in the same way tigers in a zoo are pretty. It's all good when the tiger is safely in an enclosure but the second that tiger escapes your ass is RUNNING.
I knew today would be the commute from hell. I swear the MBTA gets a kick out of how shitty their service is. The red line is so bad today the MBTA issued a statement telling people to just avoid it. Oh ok, sure! Everyone can just walk on the unshoveled sidewalks. I've been meaning to practice my *ice splits anyways.
I had a plan to get to work today. I took an outbound train to get to a less crowded inbound train stop. I was still late and unable to feel my toes for a half hour but I made it. I was thinking about how much money I could sue the MBTA for if I lost my toes to frostbite. Remember those insurance pamphlets you'd get at the beginning of the school year that would insure body parts? Did anyone actually sign up for that? Did anyone lose a body part in school? I'd go for losing a body part in math class so I could claim PTSD and never have to go to math again. Anyways, I'm sure the toes would go for a lot less than your fingers. I should plan my frostbite accordingly.
I did not have time to stop for breakfast and I hate winter more than I hate the college kids in my neighborhood (so that's a wicked fucking lot on the Boston scale of pissing me off). But hey on the bright side a nice trip to a tropical local is just one bout of frostbite away.
*the ice splits is when you're walking and you start sliding and then you somehow end up doing a split onto the ground.
I had a plan to get to work today. I took an outbound train to get to a less crowded inbound train stop. I was still late and unable to feel my toes for a half hour but I made it. I was thinking about how much money I could sue the MBTA for if I lost my toes to frostbite. Remember those insurance pamphlets you'd get at the beginning of the school year that would insure body parts? Did anyone actually sign up for that? Did anyone lose a body part in school? I'd go for losing a body part in math class so I could claim PTSD and never have to go to math again. Anyways, I'm sure the toes would go for a lot less than your fingers. I should plan my frostbite accordingly.
I did not have time to stop for breakfast and I hate winter more than I hate the college kids in my neighborhood (so that's a wicked fucking lot on the Boston scale of pissing me off). But hey on the bright side a nice trip to a tropical local is just one bout of frostbite away.
*the ice splits is when you're walking and you start sliding and then you somehow end up doing a split onto the ground.
