"But snow is pretty" you may say from your desert home. Oh yes, snow is pretty in the same way tigers in a zoo are pretty. It's all good when the tiger is safely in an enclosure but the second that tiger escapes your ass is RUNNING.
I knew today would be the commute from hell. I swear the MBTA gets a kick out of how shitty their service is. The red line is so bad today the MBTA issued a statement telling people to just avoid it. Oh ok, sure! Everyone can just walk on the unshoveled sidewalks. I've been meaning to practice my *ice splits anyways.
I had a plan to get to work today. I took an outbound train to get to a less crowded inbound train stop. I was still late and unable to feel my toes for a half hour but I made it. I was thinking about how much money I could sue the MBTA for if I lost my toes to frostbite. Remember those insurance pamphlets you'd get at the beginning of the school year that would insure body parts? Did anyone actually sign up for that? Did anyone lose a body part in school? I'd go for losing a body part in math class so I could claim PTSD and never have to go to math again. Anyways, I'm sure the toes would go for a lot less than your fingers. I should plan my frostbite accordingly.
I did not have time to stop for breakfast and I hate winter more than I hate the college kids in my neighborhood (so that's a wicked fucking lot on the Boston scale of pissing me off). But hey on the bright side a nice trip to a tropical local is just one bout of frostbite away.
*the ice splits is when you're walking and you start sliding and then you somehow end up doing a split onto the ground.
I had a plan to get to work today. I took an outbound train to get to a less crowded inbound train stop. I was still late and unable to feel my toes for a half hour but I made it. I was thinking about how much money I could sue the MBTA for if I lost my toes to frostbite. Remember those insurance pamphlets you'd get at the beginning of the school year that would insure body parts? Did anyone actually sign up for that? Did anyone lose a body part in school? I'd go for losing a body part in math class so I could claim PTSD and never have to go to math again. Anyways, I'm sure the toes would go for a lot less than your fingers. I should plan my frostbite accordingly.
I did not have time to stop for breakfast and I hate winter more than I hate the college kids in my neighborhood (so that's a wicked fucking lot on the Boston scale of pissing me off). But hey on the bright side a nice trip to a tropical local is just one bout of frostbite away.
*the ice splits is when you're walking and you start sliding and then you somehow end up doing a split onto the ground.
Well, this was my morning: attempt to walk to one bus stop. Realize there's no way I can get there because nothing is shoveled. Walk to the other bus stop, which normally takes ten minutes but took half an hour today because of all the snow. Wait at least fifteen minutes for a bus to come. Take bus to the Orange Line, since I'd been told to avoid the Red Line, which is closest to me. Stand on (outdoor) platform waiting for the train, but there are severe delays and every train that comes is so packed that no one can get on. Go back into the station because I can no longer feel my toes. Realize I should call my boss because I'm an hour late at this point. Have to wait a couple of minutes to do so because my phone has become so cold it won't work until it warms up. Decide with my boss that the easiest thing to do at this point would be working from home. Wait another fifteen minutes for a bus. Finally get home three hours after I left.
ReplyDeleteAll the years I've been riding the T I've never seen it this bad. I've had delays getting to work before, but today was the first time I actually gave up on getting to work. How the hell do they think we can host the Olympics?
It's c-c-c-cold and blustery outside here, but now I feel better. I'm not contemplating losing any body parts just yet.
ReplyDeleteSnow is pretty until it turns yellow from dog pee and black from diesel exhaust. Then it hangs around in horrible lumps until April and everyone hates it.
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