Dropping Acid (it's not what you think it is) and Mr. Pamuk is Four?

I kept seeing one book pop up over and over again when I was searching for recipes for GERD - Dropping Acid the Reflux Diet Cookbook and Cure. Not only does is have great recipes but it also talks about how acidic our diets are in general due to prepared foods being increasingly acidified to prevent growth of bacteria and to extend shelf life. It makes sense to me. Eat less processed crap!

Work has been pretty busy the past two weeks which is good for my eating smaller meals plan. Keeps me distracted so I'm not tempted to eat too much. I'm getting used to it though and the frequent smaller meals are keeping the hunger pains away. I was very proud of myself today when I only ate half of this giant chicken salad sandwich.

I was talking with a former co-worker about the upcoming Divergent movie via email and he pointed out that Four was Mr. Pamuk on Downton Abbey! How did I not realize this before??

Your fate is much better in Divergent Theo.

The Boston Marathon safety protocols have been revealed. No bags, no strollers no unregistered runners or baggy clothing. There are a few problems here. If it's cold on Marathon Monday people will be wearing jackets. That could be a problem. Also people often have to run across the course to get to the other side of a street. Are you going to get in trouble for that? I don't know but I do it every year so I can get to the spot where I watch and to the bar I like to go to. I guess I'll have to leave my purse at home too which I'm ok with. 

It's going to be weird for sure but I still plan on heading out in Brookline like I usually do. We can't let fear rule our lives and I want to be there to support the runners (by drinking beer and cheering of course).

The vicious cycle of stress and illness

Most people who meet me would say I'm a relaxed, laid back person. In fact when I started my current job the receptionist thought I was a pot head because I was "too laid back". I laughed when she told me this and assured her I don't smoke pot. Apparently I'm very good at masking my anxieties.

I'm the type of person who will take one small thing and obsess over it and worry myself sick. My mother and Derek (and blog readers!) have told me to stay off web MD and message boards regarding my stomach issues. You are all completely right.

The two main medical conditions I have are worsened by stress. That was one of the first questions my doctor asked my when my GERD flared up out of nowhere. I wasn't stressed but I certainly am NOW. And that is the vicious cycle of stress and illness. You fall ill and then when that illness does not get better right away you stress. The last thing you need when you're sick is added stress.

I've been reminding myself of the following to help cope with my stress and anxiety.

Healing takes time. If you cut your finger it's not going to be healed the next day especially if you don't take care of it.

Go back to basics. Before you go trying all these new "treatments" that the internet suggests try and find what has worked in the past and what people still turn to today. With GERD eating smaller meals, following a diet without known triggers and losing weight can work. 

You have a great support network. My family and boyfriend and friends have all been so supportive and let me whine and complain and check in on me to see how I'm doing. If I did not have that I would be feeling much worse. I need that positive energy and support.

Let it go. Yes I'm stealing a song title from Frozen but it fits. LET IT GO. I want to my body to act how I want it to act and my body is all "bitch please! You can't eat microwave popcorn at 9 p.m. and then expect to go to bed and be fine!" As much as I wish I could do that, I can't and I need to let go of my dreams of late night popcorn snacking. I can control what I put in my mouth but I can't control how my body reacts to it.

As of right now I'm still waiting for the results from my endoscopy but I'm feeling better physically and mentally. I want to thank every one who commented on my last post. I really appreciate your support.

Not the news I wanted to hear

I had an endoscopy on Friday since my reflux has been acting up since December. The results were not what I was hoping for. There is a good chance that I have Barrett's esophagus. Basically that means that the lining of my esophagus is starting to change to the type of lining you find in the stomach due to being damaged from stomach acid. This is not good because it increases your risk of cancer (the risk is very small but I would have to be monitored for abnormal cells). I have to wait for the official biopsy results but I would not be surprised if I do have it. I have been suffering from acid reflux since I was 10 years old.

If my reflux does not improve I will have to consider getting the nissen fundoplication surgery. Basically they wrap part of your stomach around the lower part of your esophagus to reinforce the closing of the of les which is what keeps stomach acid from getting into the esophagus.

The surgery has a very long recovery and I would have to be on a liquid diet for a while and that sounds miserable! Of course I've been reading up on it and freaking myself out with all the complications. Supposedly you won't be able to vomit and possibly not burp EVER! I'm not at the surgery point yet but I won't have much of a choice if I do have Barrett's and the medicine isn't working.

I'm feeling better about the whole situation now. I freaked out a little on Friday and Derek ended up rushing home from work, which I felt bad about. Before I think about the surgery I want to try Nexium and also be much more careful about what I eat. I've been more lax in my diet than I should be.

In my next post I promise to not talk about boring medical crap. Maybe I'll talk about Ke$ha or cats?

The good part of my day. 153.4

I haven't stepped on the scale in about two weeks. I had been working consistently but I got sick and then there was the birthday eating and drinking so I pretty much did not want to face the scale. I got back into the swing of working out and decided to step back on the scale this morning. It read 153.4. This is a huge deal for me. I've been stuck around 156 for a while and suddenly when I take a step back I drop 3 pounds.

I'm sure my stomach problems have contributed a little bit. I've been trying to eat smaller meals to avoid acid reflux and my appetite has not been its normal ravenous self but I think the consistent exercise since the end of November is a factor as well.

When I started I was about 160 and its been very slow going. It's tough to stay motivated when results are not quick but knowing that GERD can be greatly helped by weight loss has really kept me going. My pants fitting a little loser (finally!!) also gives a little boost.

The ultimate goal is between 135-140. I need to focus on cleaning up my diet more so I can reach my goal of 149 by the time I go to St. Thomas at the end of April.

But today I'm celebrating 153.4!

The good part of my day. Ignite Me by Tahereh Mafi

Today I finished the last book in the Shatter Me trilogy. I like my YA novels drama filled with romance and one liners that make me laugh. This series delivered. I can also safely say that this was one love triangle that completely threw me for a loop. I was surprised at how my feelings changed towards the characters over the course of the series.

I seriously love the cover art for this book too.

If you're interested in my more "in depth" review you can check out my Goodreads review.

The good part of my day. Finger knitting and Veronica Mars watching.

Since I've been feeling a little down lately I've decided to post something good about my day. Hopefully it will help my mood to think about the good in my day.

Today I learned how to finger knit. It was pretty easy and I made a cute little infinity scarf in about 45 minutes while watching Veronica Mars.

I can't wait to get some thicker yarn and see how that turns out.

Keeping it simple.

Derek and I had a great Valentines Day. We had dinner at Joe's American Bar and Grill on Newbury Street. We sat at the bar for a bit after eating enjoying some very romantic Bud Light. Goth Christina Ricci was sitting next to me at the bar which I found very amusing.

When I got home Derek had roses waiting for me.

Roses are my favorite flower.

I got Derek a bottle of gin. We exchanged cards that made each other laugh. It was a great Valentines Day