Monday, December 23, 2013

How to annoy me and not get my phone number

I was walking through the mall today on my way home from work (I cut through the mall to try to avoid the rain) and I see out of the corner of my eye someone running up next to me. I think he must be asking me for directions or that I dropped something so I take out my headphones to hear what he's saying to me.

"I just had to stop you." He says. "I saw you walking in the mall and I felt like you had this artistic energy so I had to stop and talk to you. Are you artistic?"

I was a little taken off guard and had to think for a second about what he was saying. I get in the zone with my headphones on and I didn't expect anyone to stop me.

"Um no I'm not really artistic." I tell him.

"Oh are you sure, because I just got this feeling that you were and you know I'm artistic so I can sense when someone else is and you seem like you'd be interesting to talk to." 

I can tell he's trying to think of ways to keep the conversation going.

"Thank you but really I'm not very artistic." I tell him.

The way the conversation goes next is very odd and I can tell that he's saying what he thinks will keep me talking.

"Do you have any hobbies? You know things you like to do outside of work?" He asks.

"I blog." I say.

"Oh well I write! I like to write poetry and short stories, I could tell you were artistic." He says.

"Yea, it's not really like that...I don't write poetry or short stories really." I tell him.

At this point I'm trying to think of a way out of this conversation without being too rude. In general I try to be nice to people but I'm getting really annoyed here. I feel like this guy is trying some Pick Up Artist crap and I'm not in the mood.

He then starts bombarding me with questions. Where did I go to school, did I grow up around here where do I live now? I tell him I'm sorry but I really have errands to run and I have to pick up a prescription. His next question:

"What prescription?"

"I'm not telling you that, that's personal!" He can tell I'm annoyed.

"Oh I mean you seem in a rush to get it." He says trying to back track.

"Yes, I want to get it and finish my errands so I have to go." I tell him.

"Well maybe I could get your number and we could text?" He asks with his phone in his hand.

"I'm sorry but I have a boyfriend."

"Oh no, I mean we could just meetup for coffee and talk. You just seem interesting"

"I'm sorry I don't give my number to strangers. Have a good day." I say and walk away as quickly as possible.

Very strange encounter. It's a work in progress, bringing out my inner bitch. I can be too nice sometimes but I'm getting better at being more vocal when I'm uncomfortable. Even if I was single I would not be giving that guy my number.


  1. You should have told him you were picking up a prescription to calm the voices in your head. Never mind, that probably would have made him more interested in you.

    1. yea he probably would have been like "omg me too! I have voices! We are so alike!"

  2. Sounds to me more like a socially awkward person trying to find a way to talk to people when he really doesn't know how. I did the same thing for a while, I have aspergers and this sounds a lot like something similar to that kinda "trying to interact, but not knowing how". For future info,you don't need a PhD or MD to know if someone has sucky social skills, they probably never really had friends and I understand you were trying to get out of the conversation... But those kinda people are very literal, and you need to be clear. Anything short of " I don't want to talk to you because... " ..well you see it as a nice way to say I wanna go, they see it as just a matter of fact statement about your day, etc. Most therapists will tell people to show interest, ask questions, which seems like what he was trying to do. Truth is most ppl with aspergers and such have genius level IQs just not socially adept, so if you meet one they probably never had many friends, you should try and overlook your fear instinct and realize, they're different not bad. Understand this as a way to connect with people they feel like outsiders next to. I read your other article about him saying that to someone else...that's what I would go to to make friends not just hook up...prewritten convo in my head so I wouldn't screw up trying to socialize

    1. Thank you for your comment Nik. I guess I can be defensive because as a woman I have experienced too many men who are uncomfortably pushy in trying to get a phone number. I don't feel comfortable ignoring my fear, first and foremost I need to keep myself safe. I'm sure he was not a real threat but the fact that I was very uncomfortable with the personal questions just made me want to get out of the situation. I tried to be as nice as possible but I said multiple times that I had to go and couldn't stay and talk. It is tough because no, I don't want to offend someone if they are being genuine but I also want to feel comfortable myself.