Friday, January 3, 2014

A plea to all fashion bloggers

I've been noticing a trend lately with fashion bloggers. It's actually close to pandemic levels.

Why are fashion bloggers posing in snow with either no pants, no boots, no coat, no sweater, or all of the above?! I'm talking open toed heels in the snow. Standing in the middle of a frozen lake with no coat on while it's snowing. I just don't get it. It's ok to wear boots. Winter boots! *GASP* I'm sure Tory Burch must make some.

I really hope you don't actually walk around outside in the snow with heels and no coat. You're going to get frostbite on your toes and then you will never be able to paint your toenails with the newest color again. Mani pedi time will be ruined! Toe amputation will not work well for a fashion blogger, unless you plan on starting a fashion blog about how you have no toes and how best to accessorize a toe-less foot.

Now I know that a lot of fashion bloggers photoshop anyways so just pretend you're outside and it's snowing. Just take a look at this photo of me below (it's old but that's ok).

You would never know that I was not outside in the snow. Fireworks really make your photo special, who cares if there aren't any fireworks actually happening. This is for your blog. Every picture must look perfect.

Notice my hands are up in the air because you have to act like you've never seen snow before and are having the best time of your freaking life!!

You might be wondering why you should take advice from me. I'm not a very popular blogger but I have photographic evidence that I would be an amazing fashion blogger. I just don't want anyone stealing my fashion secrets so I tend to keep them to myself. I will share with you a bit of my wisdom because I'm feeling generous today.

Posing by a Christmas tree. Every blog must have the "today we went shopping for a Christmas tree" post. I think it's a rule written down in the blog bible. No one needs to know that this is not my house, that I'm allergic to real pine or that I was probably intoxicated when this was taken. You can photshop out intoxication though right?

It's best to take fashion blogging pictures alone because you don't want anyone upstaging you (unless your hubbie or boyfriend is around as your "my life is perfect" prop)  . If you must have someone else in the picture make sure you are posing better than they are and place yourself in a more prominent location in the photo.

Remember to take multiple photos of the same outfit from every angle. Also make sure the photo does not look staged. You want people to think this is a for real photo.

Make sure your makeup looks perfect. The flash from a camera can really wash you out so double up on your makeup - especially fake tanner. It may seem over the top but your photo will turn out beautiful.

And last but not least - make sure you entitle your blog post something classy but fun like "Whimsical Christmas princess time".

So please fashion bloggers - take my advice and wear some warm clothes and if you can't, photoshop it while you're adding on all those filters.


  1. I'm just so worried for their feet! Their poor frozen feet! There's a blogger pneumonia pandemic around the corner...

    Fireworks really make your photo special

    1. I'm sure they will blog their pneumonia fashion

  2. I'll never stop laughing at this, ever. Oh and railroad tracks! I mean, that's just not safe!

    1. Ha ha I forgot about railroad tracks! So many safety concerns!!

  3. How do you decided whether to be more worried over their frozen toes or their really orange faces? HOW DO YOU DECIDE?

  4. Love love love. I'm sorry why would anyone want to go outside in the snow in open-toe shoes, let alone without pants. I like to be fashionable but i also like being warm and not subjecting myself to hypothermia.

    Also that second picture is totally coat porn.

    1. I feel like you can be fashionable and not get hypothermia but then again I am a fashion expert.

      That coat sadly is no more, but now I have a bright red one!

  5. Thank you!!

    This is why I just can't with a lot of fashion blogs. So many of them look ridiculous.

    When it's snowing, you're pretty much guaranteed to see me in boots, two coats, and gloves while I walk very quickly to the next warm place.