Textual sms favorites vol 1

Here are some recent favorite texts I've received or sent. I shall not tell you which ones were me.

I'm heading home don't know about Skankerella

Omg!!! Just ran into my domestic assault atty in freaking Belfast, ME!!

Right? We're like those people in Peru... Home swallowed by sink hole, husband died while trying to save the car...

Bought a cantaloupe today. Thought of you.
Barf

*Textual sms is what a German man who dated a friend of mine would call text messages. "You send a textual sms message?" Hence the title of this post.