REASONS WHY LIVING IN THE CITY IS THE WORST.
1. Rent is ridiculous.
I hope you like people because you're going to need to live with six of them to afford rent. To move in all you need is first, last security, realtor fee that's a full months rent, pet fee and the sacrifice of your first born child. You're going to pay dearly for this tiny apartment that's falling apart around you. That's if you're lucky enough to find an apartment that isn't rented out to someone else while you're still standing in it.
2. It smells.
You're walking down the street wondering if that was a rat or a squirrel that just ran by and then it hits you, the stench of something foul. What is it? Sewage? Trash? A vegan hipster who uses all natural deodorant or no deodorant at all? You'll never know.
3. Public transit is the worst.
It smells, it's expensive, the employees hate you, it's crowded and doesn't work half the time because weather is happening.
You're guaranteed to encounter at least one person who is doing something extra disgusting like gutting a fish on the train or clipping their fingernails.
4. People are the worst.
They touch you, they shove you out of the way, they walk right into you because they're not going to move, they cut you in line when you're trying to buy your wine which you just don't do people! God forbid someone says excuse me or thank you or here let me buy that wine for putting up with me.
5. Pretentious bars and restaurants.
Why hello there, we just created this craft cocktail made from truffles, tears and jalapenos. I hope you enjoy my urban bartender uniform featuring this lovely plaid button down shirt.
Can a girl just get a good old fashioned margarita or maybe a bud light that doesn't cost the price of a while six pack?
I would also like a larger portion of this food because I am an American and I have the right to a full plate of food if I'm paying $28.00 for my meal.
And maybe sometimes a girl just wants some unlimited salad and breadsticks from the Olive Garden but no, you offer me some experimental fusion food that is not even unlimited. Why must you be so expensive and lacking in breadsticks?
If you live in the city please feel free to share your worst stories. I live for that stuff.