Dropping Acid (it's not what you think it is) and Mr. Pamuk is Four?

I kept seeing one book pop up over and over again when I was searching for recipes for GERD - Dropping Acid the Reflux Diet Cookbook and Cure. Not only does is have great recipes but it also talks about how acidic our diets are in general due to prepared foods being increasingly acidified to prevent growth of bacteria and to extend shelf life. It makes sense to me. Eat less processed crap!

Work has been pretty busy the past two weeks which is good for my eating smaller meals plan. Keeps me distracted so I'm not tempted to eat too much. I'm getting used to it though and the frequent smaller meals are keeping the hunger pains away. I was very proud of myself today when I only ate half of this giant chicken salad sandwich.

I was talking with a former co-worker about the upcoming Divergent movie via email and he pointed out that Four was Mr. Pamuk on Downton Abbey! How did I not realize this before??

Your fate is much better in Divergent Theo.

The Boston Marathon safety protocols have been revealed. No bags, no strollers no unregistered runners or baggy clothing. There are a few problems here. If it's cold on Marathon Monday people will be wearing jackets. That could be a problem. Also people often have to run across the course to get to the other side of a street. Are you going to get in trouble for that? I don't know but I do it every year so I can get to the spot where I watch and to the bar I like to go to. I guess I'll have to leave my purse at home too which I'm ok with. 

It's going to be weird for sure but I still plan on heading out in Brookline like I usually do. We can't let fear rule our lives and I want to be there to support the runners (by drinking beer and cheering of course).

The vicious cycle of stress and illness

Most people who meet me would say I'm a relaxed, laid back person. In fact when I started my current job the receptionist thought I was a pot head because I was "too laid back". I laughed when she told me this and assured her I don't smoke pot. Apparently I'm very good at masking my anxieties.

I'm the type of person who will take one small thing and obsess over it and worry myself sick. My mother and Derek (and blog readers!) have told me to stay off web MD and message boards regarding my stomach issues. You are all completely right.

The two main medical conditions I have are worsened by stress. That was one of the first questions my doctor asked my when my GERD flared up out of nowhere. I wasn't stressed but I certainly am NOW. And that is the vicious cycle of stress and illness. You fall ill and then when that illness does not get better right away you stress. The last thing you need when you're sick is added stress.

I've been reminding myself of the following to help cope with my stress and anxiety.

Healing takes time. If you cut your finger it's not going to be healed the next day especially if you don't take care of it.

Go back to basics. Before you go trying all these new "treatments" that the internet suggests try and find what has worked in the past and what people still turn to today. With GERD eating smaller meals, following a diet without known triggers and losing weight can work. 

You have a great support network. My family and boyfriend and friends have all been so supportive and let me whine and complain and check in on me to see how I'm doing. If I did not have that I would be feeling much worse. I need that positive energy and support.

Let it go. Yes I'm stealing a song title from Frozen but it fits. LET IT GO. I want to my body to act how I want it to act and my body is all "bitch please! You can't eat microwave popcorn at 9 p.m. and then expect to go to bed and be fine!" As much as I wish I could do that, I can't and I need to let go of my dreams of late night popcorn snacking. I can control what I put in my mouth but I can't control how my body reacts to it.

As of right now I'm still waiting for the results from my endoscopy but I'm feeling better physically and mentally. I want to thank every one who commented on my last post. I really appreciate your support.

Not the news I wanted to hear

I had an endoscopy on Friday since my reflux has been acting up since December. The results were not what I was hoping for. There is a good chance that I have Barrett's esophagus. Basically that means that the lining of my esophagus is starting to change to the type of lining you find in the stomach due to being damaged from stomach acid. This is not good because it increases your risk of cancer (the risk is very small but I would have to be monitored for abnormal cells). I have to wait for the official biopsy results but I would not be surprised if I do have it. I have been suffering from acid reflux since I was 10 years old.

If my reflux does not improve I will have to consider getting the nissen fundoplication surgery. Basically they wrap part of your stomach around the lower part of your esophagus to reinforce the closing of the of les which is what keeps stomach acid from getting into the esophagus.

The surgery has a very long recovery and I would have to be on a liquid diet for a while and that sounds miserable! Of course I've been reading up on it and freaking myself out with all the complications. Supposedly you won't be able to vomit and possibly not burp EVER! I'm not at the surgery point yet but I won't have much of a choice if I do have Barrett's and the medicine isn't working.

I'm feeling better about the whole situation now. I freaked out a little on Friday and Derek ended up rushing home from work, which I felt bad about. Before I think about the surgery I want to try Nexium and also be much more careful about what I eat. I've been more lax in my diet than I should be.

In my next post I promise to not talk about boring medical crap. Maybe I'll talk about Ke$ha or cats?

The good part of my day. 153.4

I haven't stepped on the scale in about two weeks. I had been working consistently but I got sick and then there was the birthday eating and drinking so I pretty much did not want to face the scale. I got back into the swing of working out and decided to step back on the scale this morning. It read 153.4. This is a huge deal for me. I've been stuck around 156 for a while and suddenly when I take a step back I drop 3 pounds.

I'm sure my stomach problems have contributed a little bit. I've been trying to eat smaller meals to avoid acid reflux and my appetite has not been its normal ravenous self but I think the consistent exercise since the end of November is a factor as well.

When I started I was about 160 and its been very slow going. It's tough to stay motivated when results are not quick but knowing that GERD can be greatly helped by weight loss has really kept me going. My pants fitting a little loser (finally!!) also gives a little boost.

The ultimate goal is between 135-140. I need to focus on cleaning up my diet more so I can reach my goal of 149 by the time I go to St. Thomas at the end of April.

But today I'm celebrating 153.4!

The good part of my day. Ignite Me by Tahereh Mafi

Today I finished the last book in the Shatter Me trilogy. I like my YA novels drama filled with romance and one liners that make me laugh. This series delivered. I can also safely say that this was one love triangle that completely threw me for a loop. I was surprised at how my feelings changed towards the characters over the course of the series.

I seriously love the cover art for this book too.

If you're interested in my more "in depth" review you can check out my Goodreads review.

The good part of my day. Finger knitting and Veronica Mars watching.

Since I've been feeling a little down lately I've decided to post something good about my day. Hopefully it will help my mood to think about the good in my day.

Today I learned how to finger knit. It was pretty easy and I made a cute little infinity scarf in about 45 minutes while watching Veronica Mars.

I can't wait to get some thicker yarn and see how that turns out.

Keeping it simple.

Derek and I had a great Valentines Day. We had dinner at Joe's American Bar and Grill on Newbury Street. We sat at the bar for a bit after eating enjoying some very romantic Bud Light. Goth Christina Ricci was sitting next to me at the bar which I found very amusing.

When I got home Derek had roses waiting for me.

Roses are my favorite flower.

I got Derek a bottle of gin. We exchanged cards that made each other laugh. It was a great Valentines Day

I can't help it, I love watching skating.

It's rare that I go this long without blogging but I've been feeling a little sad lately. I wrote a blog post about it but decided to delete it. I decided that I want to try to keep negativity off my blog.

So Happy (almost) Valentines Day! Derek and I are planning on going out to dinner but nothing too crazy. I think people put too much focus and pressure on Valentines Day. Derek has been trying to guess his gift but I refuse to tell him what it is.

I have been obsessed with figure skating at the Olympics. I think Jason Brown will go on to great things. Once he can land a quad he will be unstoppable. Personally I think it's crazy that a quad is pretty much necessary to win gold. I feel like skaters focus too much on that one jump and some of the other elements get brushed to the side. That's my professional skating opinion.

I have been rooting for Jeremy Abbott. He just tends to fall apart at the Olympics. He fell on his short program and fell hard. He got up though and nailed the rest of his routine. I'm really pulling for him in the long program. Or is it called the free skate now? See, not so much the figure skating expert.

I'm really curious to see what happens with the woman's competition. I'm looking forward to seeing Gracie Gold skate.

The best birthday ever.

I am not exaggerating when I say my 30th birthday was my best birthday ever.

On my actual birthday (February 4th) I was sick with a really bad cold. One of my co-workers made me a champagne cake and Derek made me soup since I was sick. Not the best actual birthday day but you can't control when you get a cold (despite my washing my hands all the freaking time).

Friday I was planning on staying in since my actual party was on Saturday. Derek convinced me to go to the Green Briar for dinner and I agreed since I'd been cooped up all week. After we finished eating Derek quickly asked for the check which I thought was weird because I was planning on hanging out and having a few drinks. I was actually a little annoyed because he was the one who insisted on going out in the first place.

Then our friend Juston showed up at the bar and told me to get my purse and put on my coat. I looked at Derek confused but Derek just told me to have fun and took off. Juston drove me to my friend Kerri's house where a bunch of my lady friends had planned a surprise birthday party.

I could only imagine the look on my face when I came in and saw my two cousins there as well. I was not expect that and it was a nice surprise. There was one other surprise.... a stripper. I could not stop laughing from embarrassment. We invited him to stay for cake after the "performance". He was very nice and into sewing and law.

There are photos but I'm not posting them on my blog. Sorry folks.

I was absolutely surprised. I've always wanted a surprise party but you can't tell people that! So thank you friends for a great night and my first surprise party.

Saturday night was birthday round 2 at Golden Temple followed by Washington Square Tavern. I can share pictures from that.

Todd: "Am I finally going to make it on your blog?"

You've made it Todd! Welcome to the big leagues. All the cool people are on my blog.

 Germana is too cool for me.

Derek and Andy also too cool for me.

Cousin photo! Let's all smile the same.

Derek was supposed to smile. Nope...

I don't know what's happening here....

Tavern time at the end the night.

So far 30 is great. I love it! I'm lucky to have such great friends and a great boyfriend even though he won't smile for my birthday photo.

P.S. Yes Derek knew about the stripper. He was asked to help pick out the stripper but he passed.

Still getting over being sick and Bosco is high as a kite.

Bosco is back from his 3rd dental surgery in 3 years. He's still out of it but the vet that I go to now uses a shot of antibiotics and pain meds (time released) so I don't have to shove pills down his throat. So much better! This vet is also cheaper because they're in the burbs and not in the city. The vet said that he should not need to have dental work next year as all his back teeth have been pulled. Fingers crossed.

I'm still not feeling 100% but I'm slowly getting there. The cough I have sounds awful but my nose is feeling better. Derek is getting stir crazy. I'm hoping I feel well enough tomorrow to go out for a little bit. Nothing crazy! Saturday is my birthday party.

I called my insurance company and my insurance does not cover the mirror because I do not have "comprehensive coverage". I already pay almost $200.00 a month for car insurance so I'm not adding it on. Derek thinks he can put on the new mirror himself so that's good at least. He also offered to pay for the mirror which is really nice of him. Money has been tight for me due to my teeth and my fur child 's teeth. My "emergency fund" is once again drained. Better wait to buy that mansion until next year.

I've started re-watching Veronica Mars on Amazon Prime. I haven't seen it in so long I've forgotten so much! The first season aired in 2004! How was that ten years ago?! 

Makes me wish I went to high school in California and was a sassy teenage detective.

Juan Pablo is pretty much the worst Bachelor ever. This post was written with a lot of VapoRub.

I'm blogging while inhaling the lovely fumes of Vicks VapoRub. It's also my 30th birthday!! I had plans to go out tonight with Derek but instead he will be making me soup and I will be resting on the couch. My birthday bash with all my friends is on Saturday so I better rest up.

I didn't do much yesterday except sleep and go through a whole box of tissues but I did watch the bachelor and oh boy do I have a few things to say.

Juan Pablo is the worst Bachelor in the history of the show. He seemed like a nice guy but he manipulates the woman on the show and uses his daughter as an excuse for anything he feels uncomfortable with.

At one point he said that he wouldn't kiss anymore girls because he was afraid of what his daughter would think. First of all his daughter is 4 so why would she be watching this show? Second of all he continues to kiss the women he wants to kiss and then tells any woman he doesn't want to kiss he can't because of his daughter. Literally right after he tells a woman he can't kiss her because of his daughter he makes out with another girl because "can't resist her".

The worst was last night's episode when Claire snuck off to his room in Vietnam and asked him to go swimming in the ocean at 4 a.m. Juan Pablo agreed without a second thought. The next day he regrets this and says they "went too far". He then has a talk with Claire and uses his daughter as an excuse and makes her feel guilty claiming once again that he has to think about what his daughter will see. How about you admit that you feel guilty but that it's not her fault because you willing participated!

If he picks another woman at the end beside Claire how will she feel that they got it on in the ocean? Pretty pissed off I'm going to guess. And there is no doubt that they had sex that night from Claire's comments alone.

I'm not a big fan of Claire but she did not deserve the guilt he was laying on her.

I won't even get into his remarks about having a gay bachelor. That was a huge strike one in my book.

I would also like to point out that Derek walked by while I was watching and said "wait is that Juan Pablo? I thought he was Spanish?" I said that he is Spanish. Derek does not believe me but this also adds to my theory that the Bachelor producers picked the whitest Spanish guy they could find.

Ok back to looking up all the uses for Vicks VapoRub. Does it really work for pimples?

You can't ruin my birthday week car vandals.

The last couple of days have been full of ups and downs.

My birthday is on Tuesday so obviously the celebration has already begun. Some people don't like to celebrate their birthdays, I love celebrating my birthday. Since my co-worker Lilly and I have close birthdays we went out after work on Thursday to celebrate.

Patrick always puts our tab under "Lawyers in Love"

Finally got a photo with Patrick! He is so nice. One of the best bartenders in Boston.

I got home and passed out. Derek wakes me up at 2:30 in the morning saying "you're not going to like this". I look out the window and my car mirror is hanging off. I wasn't the only one though. Three drunk guys were going down the street and kicking mirrors off of cars. They got a lot of them. Luckily my neighbor across the street saw them and followed them down the street calling the cops. They were arrested. It's just so infuriating that people who do this.

A police report was filed on behalf off everyone who had a damaged car so I don't have to go and fill one out. I am going to pick up a copy of the report and see where I can get with insurance.

At least the wire connections are ok.

Besides the car thing my aunt has been in and out of the hospital and they think it is pancreatic cancer. My mom has been having a hard time with this but is holding it together. Her boyfriend also has cancer and has not been feeling well. Family members have been doing the best they can to make sure my aunt has meals made for her and company. They had to switch her meds and she's schizophrenic so it's best to have someone around to make sure she's ok.

It's been a weird week. That's the best way I can describe it.