Lil Weezy minus the whole rapping thing.

I'm convinced I have some sort of asthma or consumption. I'm going with consumption because I'm dramatic but also like to prepare for the worst.

I feel fine until it's time for bed. I lay down to sleep and the coughing fits start. Where have my 28 year old smoke free lungs gone? When I'm not coughing I'm wheezing. It's really quite sexy. Eventually I fall asleep but if I wake back up the whole coughing-wheezing thing starts up again.

I had the same problem this past winter and when I went to the doctor they told me it was probably some sort of allergy thing which is funny because I take so much antihistamine anyone within a square block of me should immediately stop sneezing. They gave me a script for an inhaler that cost me $60.00 and gave me heartburn. I'm not even kidding. The second I inhaled that thing my esophagus was like what the eff is this?!

I know the culprit is my apartment. It's ancient and accumulates dust like nothing I've ever seen. I had an air purifier but Bosco puked into it. There was no cleaning cat puke out of that so I tossed it. I'd like a refund on my $60.00 heartburn inhaler so I can buy a new air purifier.

One of my co-workers suggested I rub eucalyptus on my feet and put socks on and go to bed. I think I'm going to look into getting a new air purifier because knowing me I will kick off the socks in my sleep and end up with eucalyptus all over myself.

UPDATE: Last night was much better. Maybe it was that snake tonic I drank. Cures everything I hear.

Ceiling stars

In case you were wondering I made it through Sandy. My power flickered once or twice but didn't go out. I was really excited about the glow sticks so I decided to crack them anyways. I want a room full of glow sticks. A girl can dream.

Did anyone have those glow in the dark stars as a kid? I plastered my ceiling with them. I affixed them by jumping from my bed or other higher object and slamming them onto the ceiling with my hand. Who needs a ladder. Pfft.

Am I too old for glow in the dark stars?

Things that annoy me and have nothing to do with the rest of this post:

You're minding your own business reading an article on the internets and then BAM. You have this box that appears telling you that if you want to continue reading you need to like their page on facebook. What the heck?! No! No I will not like your facebook page. You are sneaky and rude. You could at least warn me at the beginning of the article, not halfway though!

I'm done. I'm AWAKE. Let's take this day by the hand and skip through a field.

Hurricane flashlight improv

The stores are all out of flashlights so I had to make due with the Halloween aisle. Glow sticks and battery operated candles. I probably should have got more glow sticks. The cats really like a good rave.

I do have a ton of yankee candles so if the power goes it will be a cinnamon-pine-fresh linen-cranberry scented rave.

The T shut down at 2 so I'm home and well prepared. Besides my Halloween aisle stash I have some bread for pb&j, some sunchips (harvest cheddar of course), cereal and granola bars.

I think I'm ready.

No bueno

My tv is randomly losing channels. This is great considering I pay for "basic cable". I'm being charged $12 a month to get a signal to my tv and now I'm not even getting all the regular channels I would get with no cable.

I thought maybe I should try rescanning all the channels on my tv to see if that would fix the problem. Well now I'm not getting anything but shopping channels and telemundo. It can't be the storm because before I tried rescanning I had more channels.

I am not tech savvy with tvs and have no idea how to fix this. I'm blaming Comcast.

I'm listening to the radio while I get ready since I hate silence when I'm home. I've already heard that overplayed Taylor Swift song. That didn't take long.

I'll give you a quarter for that tooth

Last night I cut up an old bridesmaid dress, put on some wings, grabbed some pliers and transformed into the tooth fairy.

Derek needed some major work done. Lucky for him he's dating the tooth fairy.

Thumbs up for modern dental care.

I look horrible in this picture but Melissa texted me that I didn't post any pics with her in it so here you go. Enjoy! I will sacrifice my model reputation on the internet.

Angry birds get thirsty.

Angry birds scare their girlfriend's

Angry bird down!!

Angry bird photo bomb CAW!! R2-D2 needs a tune up. IN THE MOUTH.

It now looks like I have a horrible rash on my hands from fake blood. Good think I didn't spray it all over.

I had Derek cut the once floor length dress. He did an excellent job. I think he has a future as a seamstress.

Happy Halloween everyone.

Sincerely,

The evil tooth fairy.

Worrying about pointless things is my forté

Last night I gave two homeless men outside of a convenience store $3.00. It was all the cash I had left in my wallet. They seemed like they were friendly with each other. I gave the money to one of the men and told them to share it. They both said thank you and I continued on my way home.

But what if they weren't cool with each other? What if they fought over those three dollars? I could have just started a war here!

These are the thoughts that keep me up at night.

Decision 2012. Halloween edition.

I've decided on a Halloween costume. It's going to involve cutting up an old bridesmaid's dress, fake blood and pliers. It's going to be awesome.

Can you guess what I'm going as?

Nomato sauce and the death of a beet

Fun fact: I can't eat tomatoes. Actually that's a terribly sad fact. I gave them up when I was 16 once I discovered that eating tomatoes would make me suffer for days. It's not a night shade allergy, it's the acid in the tomatoes. *cries*

Eat a slice of pizza for me with extra sauce and come back and finish reading this post.

I decided I would be ambitious and make a "nomato" sauce. I knew it wasn't going to be a quick dinner but I had no idea what I was getting in to. I spent an hour chopping veggies. I mean what on earth? I'm hungry, and my arm was getting sore. How does Mrs. Patmore cook for everyone at Downton Abbey with no modern tools?

I did it though. I killed this dish!

The blood of a beet!

It came out a little bland. I saw another recipe that added some wine and beef broth. I think that would have helped. I don't know if I can tackle this again without a food processor. I did it old school because I'm hard core didn't have a food processor.

Now I have a ton of fresh basil and I'm excited to use it in something else. Maybe involving good bread and cheese?

The trees are ablaze

Love the fall colors that are happening right now. I'm soaking it all in before winter hits and everything is cold and dead until April.

Can a girl get some "work" done here

I'm trying to do very important things here like tell people what I ate for lunch and watch random videos on youtube. My arm is not your pillow cat! I think it's time for bed where you can continue to annoy me by sleeping on various body parts.

How you like them apples

Derek has been hiding something from me. He's a senior citizen. He received his very first AARP card in the mail. You can't hide your age from me anymore, nor your discounts for being old. I want the early bird specials and discounts on things like glasses and vitamins.

Besides the excitement of the AARP card, I met Derek's parents this weekend. I rented a zip car and drove us down to the cape (Cape Cod for you people outside of New England). It was my first zip trip and it was fun driving a different and newer car. We had dinner and his mother sent us home with leftovers and a bunch of apples. I think the meeting of the parents went well.

Now that I have all of these apples I'm going to attempt to make apple something. What's easier? Apple pie or apple crisp? I'm leaning towards apple crisp. Wait! I can bob for apples by myself. That would be fun and sad, mostly sad.

I watched Walking Dead and American Horror story. I'm not sure how I feel about AHS this season. I can't judge yet because we're only one episode in but one thing that really annoyed me was all the 60s taboos. Oh look! Inter-racial marriage! Lesbians! Really? Come on. It took me a few episodes to get into last season and near the end of the episode I was starting to get more into it so I have hope that it can still be good.

P.S. Adam Levine can't act. Luckily I think his character is going to be dead by the next episode. BYE.

The secret life of cats

I came home to this last night. When I left, the toy was near my bed. How they not only got it into the dish but made it look like the mouse toy is eating from this dish is beyond me. I know they have skills so why can't I come home and find all of my dishes done?

I have a problem

What I'd like to know is why my lips are still cracked and peeling? This isn't even every lip item I own, this is just what I found in my purse. It's a little scary that I carry all of these around with me at all times. I just reach into my bag and put on whatever I pull out. If I can't find anything I toss another one in. This is why my purse weighs ten pounds.

You know what my lip problems mean though:

I'm not ready!

A skeleton friend

He's not much for conversation but he does get you into the carpool lane.

My day at a farm and the funniest goat I've ever heard

Melissa asked me on Saturday if I wanted to "do fall things" with her. Well I love fall so I didn't know what "fall things" entailed but I knew it would fun.

We went to a farm north of Boston in Haverhill and enjoyed a nice New England fall day.

A new friend:

This goat made the funniest noises. You'll hear me cracking up in the background of this video.

Apple cider doughnut. It was delicious:

The pumpkin patch:

I'm very excited about the pumpkin patch:

Melissa is a part time pumpkin model: 

Perfect pumpkins:

I really wanted to take a pumpkin home and carve it but my building doesn't allow anything placed outside on the steps. One of these days I'll live in an apartment where I can proudly place my carved pumpkin on my porch.

There was a corn maze on the farm and we could here some kids yelling "we made it!!!" while we were in the pumpkin patch. Making it out of the maze is an accomplishment. Last year a woman called 911 because she couldn't find her way out of a corn maze. These kids didn't seem to have this problem.

I love fall in New England.

On a mission

I've been on a mission to find the best Chinese food in my neighborhood. So far it hasn't been going too well. I've found two places that are ok so I decided to order somewhere new last night. It was gross. The spare ribs had a funky taste, the chicken fingers were dry and the pork fried rice was spit back out in a napkin. It was that bad. If you can't even get your rice right that's a problem.

So the search continues. Maybe I'll just cave and ordered from Golden Temple. It's really good, just more expensive than your average Chinese takeout. But I did throw out a whole order of pork fried rice and spare rips. What a waste!

Nerf sniper

When I was a kid I shot my brother in the face with a Nerf dart gun.

It suction cupped to his eyeball. He stood there shocked for a minute and we went into the kitchen to show my mom. My mom's response: "pull if off!!" Our friend Adam (who was also there to witness my amazing skills) thought it was the coolest thing ever.

I was a child sniper.

Frost warning

Time to get your hoodies out. There's a frost warning in Boston tonight. I'm not ready! I guess it's time to put the dresses away.

Blogging supervisor

Mr. Binx is making sure my new blog is up to his standards.

And so it begins - again...

If you've followed me here from my old blog - thank you. I know it's a pain to update readers and rss feeds and I don't blame you if you don't bother. I hope you do though. If you're new, thanks for stopping by.

Come back again and stay awhile. I plan on getting comfy.