What's this?

A new freckle on my palm.

I think this means I'll come into great wealth in 2017.

Merry Christmas!

I hope every had a great Christmas. We went to my Uncle Scott's house and stuffed our faces. As an adult I find the Christmas feasting to be my favorite part of the holiday. I got some great gifts too. I'm very excited about this copper pot I got in the yankee swap. It has a fry basket and a veggie steamer. I do love my veggies.

I've mentioned before on my blog that I'm terribly allergic to Christmas trees. Usually they make me sneeze. But this year I've been around two real Christmas trees and had zero sneezing. Am I growing out of this allergy? I really hope so. I'd love to have a real tree. I think I'll see how I do next year around other people's trees and if there's still no sneezing I might give it a try.

I had today off of work but it's back to the grind tomorrow. But after work Derek and I are having our annual stay at the Omni Parker in Boston. Now to decide on where to go for dinner.

Here's our family Christmas photo.

Cooking a mini Christmas Eve feast

I had to work yesterday but our office closed at 2:30 so we could get a head start on the holiday weekend. Good thing because Derek and I had tickets to see the Slutcracker at the Somerville Theater at 8 and I wanted to have time to eat dinner first. We were going to eat dinner at Red Bones but they were closed due to some work being done on the restaurant. We ate at Foundry on Elm instead. My steak wasn't worth the price but I discovered a new beer I like that's local. Our table was next to the bar and a woman was sitting there having some soup and a drink and people kept coming over to her to talk. I was wondering what was going on and then overheard someone offer their condolences. They must have just come from a funeral service. It was bit awkward because our table was right there. I felt like we were at the front of a receiving line. I kept bumping people in the back with my elbow while eating, not on purpose of course.

The Somerville theater was packed. We got there 20 minutes early and we still had to sit up in the balcony area. We could still see fine so it wasn't a problem. The show was really good. I was impressed with the quality of dancing, ballet and pole. I also liked that there were people of all shapes and sizes. The creator of the show talked about how she was told she was too fat to pursue ballet professionally when she was only 10 years old. She is by no means overweight either. Now she's been running her own successful show since 2008.

After the Slutcracker we met up with friends at the Cask N Flagon near Fenway. I thought it would be just a few people but it was a full on party. There were even some western Mass folks that made the trek out.

The music was awesome. Lots of 90s and early 2000s. My type of music. I danced my booty off. My shoulder is actually a little sore today from all the dancing. I didn't think I was doing anything crazy with my arms but my shoulder would say otherwise.

This morning Derek and I slept in and then we went to Whole Foods in the rain to get some groceries for Christmas Eve dinner. Derek's making beef wellington with roasted potatoes and asparagus. I'm in charge of scallops wrapped in bacon. We're getting fancy over here. I stopped by the liquor store to get some Champagne and beer for tomorrow night. It was pricey but I got actual Champagne from Champagne France.

I got to video chat with my family down in Florida. My niece and nephew opened their gifts from me and they seemed to really like them. My sister in law did give me some suggestions. Hunter was really excited about his skateboard. My niece was sitting in front of the phone showing me her troll dolls that I got her. It was all very cute.

Now it's time to relax while the food cooks.

I had a bad day.

I wasn't having the best day today and may have been complaining to Derek about it on Gchat.

Then I come home to these.

Mood instantly better. Thank you Derek.

Then I talked to my brother on the phone and now I really can't say I had a bad day.

All Mariah wants for Christmas is endangered circus animals for her wedding and probably diamonds

I've been thinking about that Mariah Carey song "All I Want For Christmas is You" and you guys Mariah is totally lying. You best believe Mariah is expecting expensive shit for Christmas. There is no way she's satisfied with her baby underneath that mistletoe unless he's holding diamonds.

Have you seen Mariah's World on E!? It's everything I'd hoped it would be. Mariah on a plane drinking champagne, Mariah lounging in her lingerie while she talks to the camera, Mariah wanting to use endangered circus animals in her wedding. It's amazing. She really needs to get some new staff though. Her tour manager forgot to factor in the time difference between London and Luxembourg so she was late for a show. Isn't that like tour manager 101? Make sure you get there on time? I'll be your tour manager Mariah. You can pay me in champagne and diamonds and I'll remember to factor in time differences.

Tell me what type of blog post you like on my blog: a very informal poll.

Some people are very consistent with their style of blog posts. Me on the other hand, I'm all over the place. One day I post a bunch of photos, the next day I'm ranting about Sun Chips. My blog is like a US presidential election, you never know what you're going to get. I have some sort of idea as to what type of posts people like but I figured I would ask and see what my lovely readers have to say.

So here is my informal poll. Please vote and comment for the good of my blog research.

A) photo post where I post a bunch of photos about what I've been up to with commentary

B) one or two photos with a quick comment

C) story type of post where I talk/rant about something that happened to me

D) a post about what I've been up to but without all the photos

E) keep doing a mix of all of these

F) stop blogging! You're terrible!

For extra credit feel free to tell me what you do or do not like about my blogging. Don't worry about being critical. I've been on the internet since the 90s. I can take it.

O Christmas tree, o Christmas tree

If you're anything like me you're still running around getting last minute Christmas gifts. I'm feeling a bit stressed about getting all my shopping done which is silly because I always manage to finish in time. It does help that my office building is attached to a (very expensive) mall and Eataly is now open. Delicious olive oil for everyone! But right when I think I'm done I remember one more gift I need to buy.

I'm trying to slow down and enjoy the season more. I snapped this picture in Downtown Crossing where we'll be getting married in five months. Christmas trees are one of my favorite things about Christmas. Light em up baby!

P.S. We are not getting married at Macy's. We're getting married in the building on the left.

Don't mess with my Chinese food

I'm in a fight with Golden Temple right now which is upsetting because it's one of my favorite Chinese food places. Last night I was really craving some crab rangoon and egg rolls. A good egg roll is the standard I hold Chinese food restaurants to. If you screw up an egg roll you might as well just close up shop. Golden Temple has good egg rolls and they give you a ton of duck sauce. You can never have too much duck sauce.

But you are on my shit list now Golden Temple.

We order our food through Grubhub and started watching The Last Kingdom. The best part is when Alexander Dreymon is coming out of the water with no shirt on and all you see is a back and long hair and Derek was like "hey there" and then he turns around and that's when Derek realizes it is in fact a dude. I probably should have warned him but it was funnier this way.

So we're waiting for our food and watching Netflix and we're both starting to get hungry. I look at my phone and it's been over two hours since we ordered the food. Golden Temple can take a while but two hours? I call Golden Temple to find out the status and this woman tells me that there's no order for our address. Um excuse me? There better be because Grubhub already charged the credit card. She asks for the name of the person on the order and goes to look again. Now a different guy gets back on the phone and tells me that we cancelled the order. I very politely inform him we didn't cancel and he very rudely says "yes you did it says right here that you did".

Now I'm getting pissed. I'm hungry and I've been waiting for this food that's been paid for and now this guy is going to give me attitude?

I could feel Boston Ginny just waiting to burst out.

I tell him that we did not cancel the order. There's isn't even an option on Grubhub to cancel and we were already charged. I ask him what we can do to get this order through since we already paid.

Do you know what he says?

"You listen to me! You call Grubhub. You cancelled it, you have to call them."

Are you effing kidding me? Are you for real? We keep arguing back and forth and I finally yell at him to forget it and hang up while he's still yelling "no you listen to me!"

Now I have to call Grubhub to get this taken off the card. I'm put on hold for about fifteen minutes and have to suffer through hold music that sounds like it's coming from a phonograph. I finally get someone from Grubhub on the phone who's actually very nice. He confirms that the order was not cancelled and that you can't cancel through the website, you have to call Grubhub and then Grubhub cancels it. Thank you for validating me Grubhub customer service guy.

We ordered Pizza Days instead which arrived in fifteen minutes and saved the day.

Ger ready for my Yelp review Golden Temple *cracks knuckles*

Fooled by Sun Chips

For those of you who read my blog regularly you probably have read about my intersitial cystitis. It's a real bitch of an autoimmune disease that affects your bladder. There are certain foods I can't eat because they'll trigger a flare. If you want to know what a flare feels like just light your bladder on fire. I'm usually pretty careful about making sure food is safe before I eat it but sometimes I get careless or I'm fooled. Shit happens.

Today I was at a family Christmas party at my mom's house and I saw a giant bowl of Sun Chips. I love Sun Chips. I'll eat the plain but Harvest Cheddar is where it's at. I will destroy a bag of those. So I start eating what I think are Harvest Cheddar Sun Chips and they taste a little weird but I'm drinking some wine so I'm thinking that maybe the wine is messing with my Sun Chip palate. Then my mouth starts burning. My mouth should not be burning from Harvest Cheddar Sun Chips. This can't be good. I go into the kitchen to find the bag to see what kind of Sun Chips they are.

GARDEN SALSA! Fantastic. See that tomato and jalapeno? I might as well eat battery acid. They look exactly like the Harvest Cheddar Sun Chips when they're out of the bag! How was I supposed to know? Well if I had just asked in the first place I could have avoided this whole situation but then we wouldn't have this whole blog post about Sun Chips now would we? I only ate a few and I'm chugging water so we'll see what happens.

Let me know if you want to sponser this post Sun Chips. You can pay me in Harvest Cheddar.

Besides possibly ruining my bladder for the night we came home with some pretty great stuff. Derek got some gin and a pepper grinder from my mom and it's actually good gin because I told my mother what kind to get. I also told her to get Derek the pepper grinder because he's been wanting one. You're welcome Derek.

I got a new blow dryer, which I also told my mom I wanted. My current blow dryer is making a fun CLANK CLANK CLUNK noise. The new blow dryer is a BaByliss PRO which claims to be the "World Leader in European Professional Products".

I'd love to meet the marketing team behind this.

"Let's call it Babyliss. That will really convey our message of professionalism."

"Oooh and we should capitalize both B's, not just the first one."

"I think we're done here."

My yankee swap gift is pretty much the best thing ever!

I've named him Lux. He comes from Thailand. Derek's first reaction was "that is not going in my office!" Challenge accepted! Let's see if I can sneak it in there and how long it will take for him to notice.

My Secret Santa knows me well

Our company holiday party was yesterday and I got a pretty great Secret Santa gift. It's no secret that I'm a cat lady so my Secret Santa gift was cat themed. I got the cup you see above, a cute notebook with a cat on it and a giant cookie jar that has a gold paw print for the handle. My blog was also mentioned in the annual Ode to the Holidays written by my boss. No one at my work actually reads my blog but they do know that I have one. I guess I'll have to keep things PG just in case anyone from work does find it.

Support local theater and get in the sexy holiday spirit with the Slutcracker

As someone who was a Somerville resident for a few years, I am ashamed to say that I have never attended the Slutcracker. What is the Slutcracker?

The Slutcracker is a parody of Tchaikovsky's famed 1890s ballet, Casse Noisette, or The Nutcracker. We premiered in 2008. Sold-out audiences that first season literally fried Somerville Theatre's ticketing system. We performed at Theatre St. Denis in Montreal in 2010.

Our story preserves the structure of the original ballet. The main characters have only grown-up. A courtship and a devious Aunt Drosselmeyer set the stage for Clara's transformation and awakening in the Kingdom of Sexual Fantasy.

What else would you expect when the show is called the Slutcracker?

We bought tickets to the December 23rd show. Here's the show calendar if you're interested in checking out the show.

The mannequins

They're waiting...

Medicinal

Good thing my office is well stocked with honey. My voice is still gone :( Come back voice! I miss talking.

We've also got you covered if you need massive amounts of fake sugar and then get a migraine.

Straight up now tell me do you really wanna blog me forever

How is it almost Christmas? The last two months have flown by. If I had a giant porch I would definitely deck it out for the holidays.

My cousin Alexis just had baby number two and I finally got to meet him. Baby Mason. He slept the whole time since he was up all night.

Saturday night was Susan's 40th birthday at Back Bay Social Club. The food was ok but I don't think it's worth the price. I had the chicken with brussels sprouts and mashed potatoes. The chicken was meh. I've been spoiled by the chicken at Washington Square Tavern.

We ended up in the South End. We stopped by a gay bar where I impressed a lady with my dance moves. Who doesn't want to bust out some dance moves when Paula Abdul is blasting? Just don't show me the video because in my head I was good and I don't want to ruin that.

I now have laryngitis for no reason. It happens at least once a year. Tomorrow should be fun considering I'm on the phone quite a bit for my job. Derek is doing a good imitation of me attempting to talk.

The best birthday gift

Before I tell you what the best birthday gift is I have to complain. I know you're shocked. Me complain? NEVER.

I'm in the supermarket this morning buying some water and Triscuits which should be a quick trip but of course that never happens. I go to the shortest line and the woman in front of me is finishing putting her stuff on the checkout counter. The cashier starts ringing her items up and that's when things go downhill. For every item this woman goes "That's on sale it's 2 for 5. You know that's on sale right?" "Yes, it's ringing up with the sale price." For all of her 15 items. Every single one! When we get to the salsa I'm really about to lose it. "That's on sale, hold on let me tell you the price. I think it's 2 for 5." And then she runs off to find the price while the cashier is yelling to her that the sale price rang up. Lord give me strength. And I mean give me strength in my throwing arm for when I hurl this 2 for 5 salsa at this lady's' head.

Now that I got that out of my system, let's get to the best birthday gift. That would be one of my favorite bands playing in Boston on my birthday! AFI is coming to Boston on February 4th. Please feel free to join me at my awesome birthday celebration and buy me drinks.

The ending of this song is so great! This was actually a hidden track but one of my favorites.

There are no flowers, no not this time,

There'll be no angels gracing the lines,

Just these stark words, I find.

I'd show a smile, but i'm too weak,

I'd share with you could I only speak,

Just how much this, hurts me.

My little allergy free tree

I was reminded today of how much I despise young college kids. There was a group of them decked in their school gear on the T going to some sporting event (hockey maybe?) and they were obnoxious. Is it necessary to be that loud and high five each other multiple times on a packed train? The correct answer is no, it is not necessary.

My little tree came in. It's super cute.

And it won't make me sneeze. Maybe I should get tiny little presents to put under it! Or maybe I should just go to bed.

A giraffe walks into a bar

Friday night was my ladies night with Lil Anne. We had some wine and watched Batteries Not Included. I love that movie. I wish Jessica Tandy was still around. We ended the night at the Last Drop which is always a treat.

Why not dress up as a giraffe and hit the town? There were also drunken carolers.

I'm sure Derek is heart broken that he missed this.

The elliptical arrived yesterday. My mother wants a treadmill so she gave me the elliptical for free. I just had to pay to move it. It's a nice one too. It even has a built in fan to cool you off if needed.

Last night Derek and I went to Red Bones where I had chicken and waffles. I better get my ass on that elliptical. We also watched the Hamilton Drunk History episode and it was as good as I hoped.

I'm watching A Diva's Christmas Carol right now. I will pretty much watch any version of A Christmas Carol. The ending is so satisfying. Now it's time to get off the computer and go food shopping, do laundry, clean and maybe a little elliptical action.

Commuting fun on the B line

It seems like everyone is announcing that they're pregnant on Facebook so I think it's time I announce something as well. We're happy to announce that we're expecting an elliptical machine to join our family on Saturday. We're so excited to begin this (fitness) journey together.

The B line was a real treat this morning. One guy kept asking at every stop if we were at Downtown Crossing. We were nowhere near Downtown Crossing. Then there was goldfish brain and her boyfriend.

GFB: They were really freaked out.
BF: Why were they really freaked out?
GFB: I never said they were freaked out!
BF: Yes you did, you just said that.
GFB: No I didn't!
BF: Fine, maybe I could hear you because the train's loud.

I heard her, she said it.

Tonight I have a lady date with Lil Anne. Not sure what we'll be doing yet but she better bring me flowers.

Put some fig jam on it

I just bought a small ceramic Christmas tree online that lights up. I miss having a tree just not the hassle of dealing with one. I'm going to put it in the front hall. Maybe I'll get some type of garland too.

I got lunch from Eataly today and I'm sad to report that it was meh. I got the Emiliano sandwich which is prosciutto, mozzarella and arugula. It needed some kind of dressing or condiment on it. Fig jam would have been good. Are you taking notes Mario Batali? The homemade chips were good but it's hard to screw up a potato chip. Next up is to try a crepe.

I talked to my mom on the phone earlier and she told me she was going to a fire extinguisher training at her work. "I'm going for the free snacks." I am my mother's daughter.