A tale of two selfies

The first was at work on Friday. I was actually checking my hair in the camera and thought I looked pretty good so why not snap a photo. I'm not getting any younger here. My hair has been so staticy that I feel like I'm walking around with my hair sticking out everywhere. You can tell it's still sticking up a little bit.

The second photo was after dinner on Friday night. I came home and opened up a box from Amazon that had Bosco's new cat carrier. The amount of paper in the box was ridiculous. I took this when I was trying to wrangle all the paper. I look like the patron saint of packages here.

Inching our way to spring

February is always a rough month for me. I've never been a winter person. I'm ready for spring by January 1st. We've had a brutal month with record amounts of snow and below average temperatures. I would stand on the platform waiting for the T in the morning with tears in my eyes. I didn't actually cry but I was on the edge. When the B line was shut down for a week I was walking to work and I was just worn out. If I had a nickle for every time I said "I'm just DONE" in February I'd be able to take all of you on a tropical vacation.

March 1st is tomorrow and I finally feel like I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. It's actually light out when I leave work which has improved my mood. I've been more consistent with my yoga which I think helps. And last but certainly not least, I'm going to Vegas in May. Having a vacation to look forward to certainly improves my mood. A swim in an outdoor pool is considered medicinal in my book.

It's 16 degrees out right now but the sun is shining. I check the 10 day weather forecast everyday and I saw a 45 degrees next week. Can I get a Hallelujah!

Thank God for bibs

I went to the dentist this morning because who doesn't want to get drilled (and not in the good way) first thing in the morning.

So I'm all finished and my dentist tells me I can rise my mouth out. Usually I can still rinse even when I'm numb but for some reason today it went a little like this.

Thank God for bibs right? I think I spit everywhere but the drain. I also decided to torture myself and get a bagel that I probably can't eat for hours so I don't chew my tongue off.

BREAKING NEWS: I just foolishly tried to take a sip of water and only half of it got in my mouth. *sigh* This is going to be a long day.

What is going on with my bottom?

Serious question guys. What is wrong with the right side of my buttox? I'm almost at donut level here. Is there a nerve in that area that I could have damaged? Is this just old age now that I'm 31? When I sit it hurts. Not to the level that I can't sit at all but it's not comfortable. I did fall on Valentines day but it was into a fluffy snowbank so I don't think that's the problem. I can't turn to google because the internet will just tell me I'm pregnant or have aids or both.

Ok I just googled it and it could be my sciatic nerve. The nerve of that nerve! I know I was complaining that I would like a little more junk in the trunk but don't get all butt hurt about it.

Ok ok I'm done with the horrible jokes. I'm sorry. I'm looking up donuts and really they could use an update on the styles. I want something with pizazz, something that says "yes I might need to sit on a donut for my butt pain but I'm also a stylish woman". Maybe a chevron pattern? There's a market for this out there, I'm sure of it.

Wait! Japan is at least a bit more creative here.

The bear looks sad but your butt will be happy. I call him Mr. Bottomton

A night at the @WBostonHotel

When Derek asked me what hotel I wanted to stay at for my birthday I new right away I wanted to stay at the W Hotel in Boston. We've had drinks in their lounge before and I just love the whole vibe of the hotel. It's modern but relaxing. The champagne mojitos are amazing. A+ all the thumbs up.

When we checked in they gave us two drink vouchers to use in the lounge or for room service. In the elevators they have a rug on the floor that says "Good Evening" and yes in the morning the rug is changed out to say "Good Morning". Attention to detail people. I like it.

We stayed on the 11th floor. The hall had this interesting print on the walls that ran the length of the hallway.

I loved the room! The colors were lovely and I told Derek someday when we own our own place we are painting the bedroom these colors. The room was also immaculate.

The tree print there is actually a screen that's attached to the wall. The shower and sink are on the opposite side while the actual toilet part has a separate door. There's a second screen on the other side that you can pull up and down if you want more privacy. If it's up you can see what the person on the other side is doing in the bathroom. "Hey I'm washing my hands! What's up!"

If you look closely you can spot a Derek.

At the lounge we helped some British gents pick woman on tinder. I'm not even kidding. It was actually pretty fun. The bartender took the most expensive drinks off our tab when we gave him our drink vouchers. There's a nice little fireplace in the lounge too.

We did order a bottle of champagne to the room and then we watched some stand up on Comedy Central. I found the bed very comfortable. My only complaint is that you hear a lot of sirens and the walls are pretty thin so I could hear some people talking in the morning. I would definitely stay there again though. Although there isn't really a restaurant at the W you can order food in the lounge or to your room. You're near a ton of restaurants and bars though so you have plenty to choose from. You have Rock Bottom and an Indian restaurant right across the street, there's also a German style beer hall called Jacob Wirth and a delicious Thai place called Montien a stones throw from the hotel.

Where will we stay for Derek's birthday in April? You'll have to wait to find out.

Other hotel stays - the Omni Parker House

I'm watching too much Parks and Recreation

I had a dream last night that I worked for the city and someone ordered hundreds of fire hydrants and they were all delivered to the office at once. I've been binge watching Parks and Recreation so these are my dreams right now. Derek tells me my dreams are boring. What, you don't find fire hydrants exciting?

Tonight is the night where Derek and I are staying at a nice hotel downtown. It's part of my birthday present. The weather shall be quite lovely with freezing rain!!! Seriously, we just can't get a break. I'm going to take a wild guess and say that the B line will still be down on Monday and I will have to continue my walking. Oh joy *throws icicle daggers*

Crab rangoon

It's about negative 500 degrees tonight so when we ordered take out I felt it was necessary to order crab rangoon and then eat all of it. This is what happens when the winter madness descends. You eat all the rangoons.

I just watched Will Farrell lip sync Let it Go and maybe it's because I'm exhausted but I'm pretty sure that was one of the funniest things I've ever seen in my life.

That extrovert vibe

I had the best interaction with a stranger last night. I was waiting outside a T station for Derek and this young woman comes over and says hello. We start talking about how cold it is and who we're waiting for at the T station. She tells me that she met a guy at a show a few nights ago and they're meeting up to get burgers. She's twenty years old and her mother keeps texting her to check in because she's never taken the T alone before. She asks if we should huddle together for warmth. I say sure, why not. So this is how Derek found me at the T station - huddled together with a young lady who I've never met before talking about her impending first date.

There's something about me that makes strangers start talking to me. I think it's resting nice face but I also think people can sense if someone has an outgoing personality. You just give off this "talk to me" vibe. People are always asking me for directions or striking up random conversations. I've met some great people who I now call my friends because of this.

My friend Melissa and I met when she worked at my office for about two weeks. She got my name off the office contacts list to see if I wanted to go out. After we became friends I asked her why she called me considering we barely knew each other. Her response was that she wasn't really sure but I just seemed like someone that would be fun to hang out with. That was almost nine years ago.

I'm glad that I give off this extrovert vibe. Although sometimes you attract a creeper or two most times I'm left smiling after the conversation and sometimes I even find a new friend.

I hope my huddle friend had a good first date. She was super sweet and very excited.

Today's outfit inspiration is Beetlejuice #whatiwore

Say my name three times and I'll appear making this weird face.

What I wore today: Is this how you fashion blog?

Here's what I wore today.

You might have a few questions such as "what is that face you're making?" Well that's my serious fashion blogger face. You might think I look petrified in the first photo but that's just me smiling with my eyes like Tyra says.

Here's what I wore:

Leggings that were under my pants so I didn't freeze to death: Target

Top: J Crew

Possible stain on top?: water from washing my hands or Panda Express (unsure)

Pants: White House Black Market

I hope Phillip is afraid of highlighters

In elementary school I was teased for having hairy arms. This one boy Phillip would tease me all the time calling me a monkey. One day I just lost it and raised my highlighter like some kind of dagger and said "if you make fun of my arms one more time I'm going to write all over your face". He laughed and whispered "monkey" so I grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and wrote all over his face. After that incident my mother finally let me Nair my arms. I only did it for a couple months before I couldn't be bothered to keep up with it. As I grew older my arm hair lightened and now I don't even think twice about it.

I hope Phillip is afraid of highlighters.

I'll never tell

Part of my job is being a "phone bouncer". I screen all calls for the two attorney's I work for. When a potential new client calls I have to get some basic information from them and run a conflict check. If their spouse has already spoken to someone at our firm we can't speak with them. Most people willingly give me that information but others are a little less forthcoming.

The conversation usually goes something like this:

Me: What is your spouses name?

Potential Client: Why do I have to tell you that?

Me: It's just for conflict check reasons.

Potential Client: Well I know they didn't call you.

Me: I understand, but I'm just following protocol.

Potential Client: I'll tell the attorney but I'm not telling you.

Me: I'm sorry but I have to run a conflict check before an attorney will speak with you.

Potential Client: FINE!

I remind them that any information they give me will not leave the office but some people just don't wanna tell.

Ginny's got a new toy

Today I finally set up my Fire TV Stick and let me tell you it's awesome. Set up was super easy. Within five minutes I was watching a Robin Williams comedy special. I have Netflix and Amazon Prime so I have plenty of movies and tv shows to watch. So far I've experienced no lagging and it connects via your wifi so I can use my laptop while watching if I so please. You can also download the app and use your smart phone as a controller. A+ my friends.

So the MBTA is kind of sort of but not really running tomorrow and they're saying it may take 30 days before the T resumes normal service. That's if we don't have another blizzard.

I think I'm walking to work tomorrow which will take me at least an hour and it's going to be in the single digits.

I'll take my calls from down here thanks.

In other news that makes me want to cry the Fifty Shades of Grey movie broke some President's Day opening record. I mean who doesn't want to watch a man abuse a woman on the big screen staring two people who hate each other in real life.

What I Consumed This Weekend

• Did you watch S.N.L. 40th anniversary show? As per usual with S.N.L. there were some hits (Celebrity Jeopardy) and some misses (Bass-o-Mastic). I'm waiting for Justin Timberlake and Jimmy Fallon to have their own show, I just love them together.
• On the Bachelor Britt needed the whambulance and Chris attempted to rap the whitest rap of all time. "Family means everything so does an engagement ring." I feel a little ill just typing that.
• I finished reading Radiance by Grace Draven. If you like fantasy and romance I highly recommend it.
• Everything Karmin puts out is just amazing. They're not afraid to try out different styles of music and always nail it. I've been listening to Yesterday on repeat.

And I'm out!

*I am an amazon affiliate so if you buy the Fire TV Stick through the above link I get a percentage. 

A very snowy Valentine's Day

Hello everyone! I hope you had a lovely Valentine's Day yesterday. It snowed in Boston again. Derek and I still made it out for a Thai dinner with a side of drama. A couple sitting behind us was having quite the heated argument. I'm not sure what it was about but they were not having a fun evening.

I took this photo by accident yesterday when I was trying to figure out my camera's self timer. I think it sums up how I feel about all this snow.

Bosco had his checkup on Saturday. He has to have more teeth pulled. He really doesn't have many left. I think it's becoming a yearly tradition to spend my tax return on my cat.

My vet has portraits of all the staff with their pets. I think it's hilarious.

They also have animal artwork.

Other things I did on Valentine's Day: watched the Golden Girls.

Here is me imitating a photo of my niece over some V Day drinks. I guess this blog post is going to be full of weird photos.

I'm wearing my heart blouse from Ann Taylor Loft. It's a chocolate brown with pink hearts, I love it. I have tomorrow off so I've been lounging around all day. Tomorrow I try out my fireTV stick that Derek got me for my birthday. I can't wait to watch Netflix and Amazon Prime on my tv. Seriously awesome gift, good job boyfriend.

Can't stop, won't stop, complaining

There's an article on CNN titled "Boston: Stop complaining about the snow". Complaining is practically a Boston tradition. After the holidays there's not much happening until spring. It snows, you shovel, you slip and get slush pants, you wait for the T that's never coming and reapeat until spring. You start to go a little crazy and you just have to complain or you really might snap. This is why I have a blog, so I can complain here. I try to keep my Facebook complaining to a minimum but sometimes I just can't help myself. In order to counteract my Facebook complaining I'll be posting cat pictures.

I still try to look on the bright side - my arms should be jacked by spring. So don't mess with me punks.

How to survive Valentine's Day like it's the zombie apocalypse

Are you single this Valentine's Day? As someone who has spent many a Valentine's Day single here are some tips from me to you. If you're having a hard time coping it's time to go into survival mode and treat Valentine's Day like it's the zombie apocalypse.

1. You might think you're all alone but you will find others.

2. That guy that you slept with that you swore was a one time thing. Maybe he's not so bad and maybe you can't afford to be too picky here.

3. Don't trust a guy who gives himself a fake title like "the Governor". Also if he has an eye patch find out what happened to his eye. If some other woman took his eye out he's probably trouble.

4. Maybe you're not looking for a date on Valentine's Day. May I suggest taking up a hobby like sword fighting.

5. If taking up a hobby seems like too much effort just get a big can of pudding and go to town.

6. After you fall into your pudding coma you'll start dreaming of that perfect guy or girl. You're welcome!

I hope you have a happy Valentine's Day filled with unrealistic expectations and pudding from a can!

*all these gifs are from the Walking Dead and if you're not watching that show GET ON IT.

So you didn't say red wine?

I'm pretty notorious for mishearing things. I mean "biodegradable" totally sounds like "bulimic animals" and that's just a fact. Now my co-worker probably thinks I have a drinking problem.

co-worker: Are you a red line girl?

me: Well I'll drink any color wine. I don't discriminate.

co-worker: Well I see where your head is at. I asked if you're a red line girl.

me: Ohhhhhh! No I take the green line.....

Add it to the list of things I misheard.

It's hard work being the princess of the bar

Golden Temple is my favorite place to have my birthday party. If you know me at all you know I love Chinese food. I could probably live off egg rolls - good egg rolls though, not those disgusting ones you find at a Chinese buffet in Orlando Florida that gives your food poisoning, and hell to the NO on some gluten free or vegan egg rolls. Give me all your gluten and pork please. My poor brother can not find good Chinese food in Florida. I feel your pain bro, well I would if I didn't live in the land of delicious Chinese food. Golden Temple is like eating on a space ship. The USS Fried Wanton. Mmmmmmm. I like some ambiance when I'm stuffing my face. After I eat all the things I'm going to dance my ass off. This is when I get to enjoy some grade A hot mess people watching.

You've got two groups here - the drunk college students and the drunk middle-aged folk. Ok and then me and my friends (also drunk). There's a lot of awkward white people dancing happening and that is my people watching jam. The college students are swapping their germs in scorpion bowls and grinding against each other and the middle-agers are drinking their wine and martinis while doing some weird shuffling spins. At what age do you stop grinding on your date on the dance floor and start trying to spin them like your on Dancing With the Stars?

The DJ is an old white dude and his song choices range from the Jackson 5 to any song you would have heard at a club circa the early 2000s. I once went up and asked him to play a current popular song and he was like "yea I don't have that CD yet." Have we time traveled back to 1999? Get itunes like every other shitty DJ. I guess I can't complain because there's no cover at GT and he does have a lot of Britney. At least I know what to expect from him.

Now before you think that I'm hatin on the wine swilling 45 year olds, I'm not. I can't because that will probably be me someday. When I was a kid and I would go to the dance at the campground I was so embarrassed by the drunk adults. I'm trying to pick up some 13 year old sk8ter bois and you're totally ruining my tween game mom! I remember my uncle said to me "one day you'll be the drunk adult at the campground dance" and my uncle was totally right. I do have one advantage in that I can actually dance and you don't just suddenly lose that skill. When you grow up around a lot of Latinos you pick up a hip swivel or two. Because I know I'm a good dancer I like to go all out, which I'm sure would probably be terrifying to the 21 year olds when I'm 45.

My friends really went all out with the birthday gifts. My cousin got me a blow up crown which I wore all night. People kept saying "after you princess" and asking if they could touch the crown. It's hard work being the princess of the bar. I think I could get used to the royal treatment and should probably wear a crown more often.

There was one young dude that kept insisting I was 23. I told him I was 31 but he was having none of that. If he saw me on the dance floor he'd run over to me and yell "TWENTY THREEEEE" and then run off.

Derek missed out because he has the swine flu or something. We're like some weird celibate couple kissing each other on the cheek so I don't get sick.

So birthday celebrated, princess achievement unlocked, good times had by all but especially by this faux 23 year old.

I'm 31 today which is like 80 in Southerner years.

Today is my 31st birthday. I try to take a birthday selfie every year so when I'm really old I can weep over photos of "younger Ginny". This is why I'm all for selfies. We're not getting any younger so we might as well selfie it up. I plan on aging beautifully though so don't worry about me.

As a birthday treat the MBTA gifted me another miserable commute. Apparently the trains just "can't even" with this winter crap (I'm still young and hip and know the lingo you guys). It's times like these that I wish I lived in the South. I have to remind myself that the cold weather will pass and I'm not built to handle living in the south.

So here are my reasons why I won't move from this liberal frozen hell hole.

1. I would get fat. I'm already trying to lose 10-15 pounds so my esophagus doesn't erode away. Do you know how many cherry limeades I had from Sonic when I was in Texas? Enough to give diabetes to three people. There's also gravy and butter on everything. "Would you like a dab of cheddar mashed potato with your gallon of gravy?" "Why yes thank you. You can just pour that right into my mouth." Gravy is a breakfast food in the South. I mean biscuits and gravy is delicious but a heart attack first thing in the morning is very inconvenient. After consuming all this gravy I can't even walk it off because I'd have to walk in the street. Where are the sidewalks?

2. Chain restaurants. Listen I love me some unlimited salad and breadsticks at the Olive Garden once in a while but sometimes you just want something different, something that doesn't have five locations in one square mile. I'm sorry but a girl can't live off cheddar biscuits from Red Lobster.

3. I don't trust your plants. I'm sorry but is this Jumanji? I don't like plants that look like they could eat my face. And don't even get me started about snakes falling out of trees.

plant death trap

4. Politics. I don't think I need to elaborate too much. I'm not a conservative.

5. Religion. I'm not religious and if you are that's ok. As my co-worker Lilly says "you do you and I'll do me". Around here no one asks me if I go to church and I don't ask them. In the south everyone will ask you if you go to church. Like a true heathen I often lie and say "sometimes": they don't have to know that my sometimes means when I attend a funeral or a wedding.

6. I'm in my 30s, unmarried and have no kids. If you are childless and unmarried at my age people in the south will look at you like you're one of those poor dogs in that Sarah Mclachlan commercial. I actually had someone say they would pray for me. Please don't pray for me to get pregnant. You can pray for my soul but leave my uterus out of it.

The Northeast isn't perfect by any means. Massachusetts refuses to let us have happy hour. That's just not even right! I should have the freedom to get drunk cheaply at certain hours if I want to. People can be real assholes here too. You could fall down a set of stairs and everyone would act like nothing happened. In the south you'd have everyone within a mile radius asking if you're ok. So I guess what I'm saying is winter sucks but I really love Thai food and not having to talk about babies all the time.

That's a wicked fucking lot on the Boston scale of pissing me off

"But snow is pretty" you may say from your desert home. Oh yes, snow is pretty in the same way tigers in a zoo are pretty. It's all good when the tiger is safely in an enclosure but the second that tiger escapes your ass is RUNNING.

I knew today would be the commute from hell. I swear the MBTA gets a kick out of how shitty their service is. The red line is so bad today the MBTA issued a statement telling people to just avoid it. Oh ok, sure! Everyone can just walk on the unshoveled sidewalks. I've been meaning to practice my *ice splits anyways.

I had a plan to get to work today. I took an outbound train to get to a less crowded inbound train stop. I was still late and unable to feel my toes for a half hour but I made it. I was thinking about how much money I could sue the MBTA for if I lost my toes to frostbite. Remember those insurance pamphlets you'd get at the beginning of the school year that would insure body parts? Did anyone actually sign up for that? Did anyone lose a body part in school? I'd go for losing a body part in math class so I could claim PTSD and never have to go to math again. Anyways, I'm sure the toes would go for a lot less than your fingers. I should plan my frostbite accordingly.

I did not have time to stop for breakfast and I hate winter more than I hate the college kids in my neighborhood (so that's a wicked fucking lot on the Boston scale of pissing me off). But hey on the bright side a nice trip to a tropical local is just one bout of frostbite away.

*the ice splits is when you're walking and you start sliding and then you somehow end up doing a split onto the ground.

The guessing game

It's time to play what is causing Ginny's sore throat? Is it (a) acid reflux or (b) the beginning of a cold? I'm trying to think back to any offending food I might have eaten and I'm giving all my recently sick co-workers the side eye. Colds spread like the plague in my office.

I'm leaning more towards this being a cold and I'll tell you why: my birthday is Wednesday and it's pretty much a tradition that I will be sick on my birthday. The last couple of years I remember having miserable colds around my birthday. If it's a cold I just want to get it over with now before my birthday party on Saturday. I'll also be keeping my diet as heartburn friendly as possible in case it is my reflux. I'm too young to have a stomach this old.

I need to shovel my car out when I get home from work today so I'm sure that will help the situation greatly if this is indeed a cold. Please feel free to light a Lady of Guadalupe candle for me so I will be fully recovered for my birthday party on Saturday.

This is my favorite photo from last night

Because of that guy's face.